Lyrics Dan Bull – Dear Microsoft
Text:
Dear Microsoft
Hi, I’m Dan Bull, I write rap verses
And this track’s about your quite crap service
You’ve supposedly done countless improvements
So tell me how come that now it is useless?
What’s the ground for bringing out all this new stuff
If it’s not as good as 2002 was?
Your latest upgrade won’t allow me to do what
I used to be able to do without an issue whatsoever
You’re obviously not so clever
If you reckon this development makes software better
An elementary mailbox is all it’s meant to be
But there isn’t a single thing to more effectively
Enkindle the raw intensity of Dan’s rage
Than accessing my messages to get given a blank page
No matter how much I refresh it, it’s the damn same
It’s like I’m the victim of a whiteout campaign
I down the champagne when it finally opens
Only to find it’s too late and my ties are broke
It’s urgent but trying to reply’s just hopeless
It would have been quicker just to write and post it
A service so unreliable is unviable
It’s undeniable so trying to have me done for libel
Is undesirable, I’d provide you with the details
In an email but you wouldn’t find it because
A) It wouldn’t arrive at all
And B) I couldn’t write it anyway cos there’s so much of it, it’s undescribeable
I would like a refund for all the wasted time that you give me
Is this what you mean by The New Busy?
I’m too busy now, my day’s too stressful
What’s the ground for bringing out all this new stuff
If it’s not as good as 2002 was?
Your latest upgrade won’t allow me to do what
I used to be able to do without an issue whatsoever
You’re obviously not so clever
If you reckon this development makes software better
An elementary mailbox is all it’s meant to be
But there isn’t a single thing to more effectively
Enkindle the raw intensity of Dan’s rage
Than accessing my messages to get given a blank page
No matter how much I refresh it, it’s the damn same
It’s like I’m the victim of a whiteout campaign
I down the champagne when it finally opens
Only to find it’s too late and my ties are broke
It’s urgent but trying to reply’s just hopeless
It would have been quicker just to write and post it
A service so unreliable is unviable
It’s undeniable so trying to have me done for libel
Is undesirable, I’d provide you with the details
In an email but you wouldn’t find it because
A) It wouldn’t arrive at all
And B) I couldn’t write it anyway cos there’s so much of it, it’s undescribeable
I would like a refund for all the wasted time that you give me
Is this what you mean by The New Busy?
I’m too busy now, my day’s too stressful
Not cos I’m successful but cos Hotmail’s dreadful
It’s leaving me feeling off-kilter
Immune system weaker than your spam filter
And what’s with the file transfers on MSN?
I tried to send a picture to my best friend
Dragged the link into the window but it got all compressed then
I’m not impressed. 640 by 480?
I thought these days shit was all HD
I don’t need a «paste this to Facebook» facility
Just a faithful communication utility
Silly me for thinking the ability to link is
Pretty obligatory in this day and age but
That’s yet another thing you dicks have disabled
Now I have to click away to bring a seperate page up
Select the link, copy the text and then paste
What the F MSN are gonna do next
I’ll never guess except I bet it’s a mess
Cos every change that’s made by the boffins
Is another fail nail in the coffin
I’ve been trying to stay away from the Gmail doctrine
But unless it gets better then I’m left with no option
It’s leaving me feeling off-kilter
Immune system weaker than your spam filter
And what’s with the file transfers on MSN?
I tried to send a picture to my best friend
Dragged the link into the window but it got all compressed then
I’m not impressed. 640 by 480?
I thought these days shit was all HD
I don’t need a «paste this to Facebook» facility
Just a faithful communication utility
Silly me for thinking the ability to link is
Pretty obligatory in this day and age but
That’s yet another thing you dicks have disabled
Now I have to click away to bring a seperate page up
Select the link, copy the text and then paste
What the F MSN are gonna do next
I’ll never guess except I bet it’s a mess
Cos every change that’s made by the boffins
Is another fail nail in the coffin
I’ve been trying to stay away from the Gmail doctrine
But unless it gets better then I’m left with no option