Lyrics Flight Of The Conchords – 1353 (Woo A Lady)

In the summer of 1353
As I sat beneath the willow tree
I decided on that day to woo a lady

I went to the florist and I said to she

I went to the tailor for to buy
Some clothing of the latest style
Which at the time were tights and pointy boots
You know those greenish kind of tights and those Peter Pan-y kind of boots
Really tight tights and Peter Pan-y boots to woo a lady

I said to the hairdresser cut my hair
He said I’ll cut it like the page boys wear
A really popular look with page boys now
Just a straight line across the brow
I’ll get a ruler and some scissors and I’ll do it for you right now
Very hot look if you’re trying to woo a lady

I needed a horse so I went to the stable
Stable man, would I be able
To hire a horse from which to woo a lady?
He said there are three things that I must see
One florin and two forms of ID
I said alas, I have no ID on me
Who even carries ID in 1353?

I had made a tapestry of me
And said this is me in 1353
To prove that I was legitimate
I had my mother write up a birth certificate
It wasn’t easy as she’s illiterate
But I really, really needed it
To have this damn horse so that I may woo a lady
I got a really massive horse so I could impress this lady
For but a penny more a day, he did upgrade me

From a hilltop a lady I did view
And I knew exactly what to do
The time had come for me to woo this lady

And I said woooo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo you-oo woo woo woo woo woo woo you lady
I said woo woo woo woo woo woo-hoo woo-hoo lady I am wooing you
Woo w-w-woo woo woo this is how I woo a lady

The lady then said unto me
Sir, you can’t woo me so easily
It takes more than just going woo woo to woo a lady
But I have a rose scented rose which they call a rose
And I hold this rose beneath your nose
I have a massive horse and the finest clothes
All of these things I do to woo you lady

She said, the horse is big and the tights are fun
But the hairdo’s a little 1351
In fact it makes you look a bit like a lady
I swore as you approached, that you were a lady
And that gigantic horse just emphasises that you look like a lady
And I replied yes, yes I heard you the first time

She said I am to be married to the king
We are to be wed this coming spring
And if you want my hand you’d have to challenge him
To that thing on the horses with those pointy things
You’ll have to battle to the death with those things with the point eachother with those pointy things

I said is that the time? I must be on my way
I’m late for a medieval play
If it matters not to you, either way
I’ll just say that I wooed you anyway
I’ll just tell all my friends that I woo w-w-w-wooed you lady
Because there’s a wager in the village that I’d never woo a lady

And I left going woooo woo woo woo woo woo woo I just wooed you
Woo woo woo woo woo, this is how I woo a lady