Lyrics Kate Miller–Heidke – I’m Growing A Beard Downstairs For Christmas

When I was a girl
Just a little girl
I couldn’t wait ’til I became a woman
And I could grow a thatch of curls

But at the turn of the millennium
A fever gripped the land
It was decreed that all the women
Look like little girls again

But now I’m growing a beard downstairs for Christmas
Growing a downstairs beard for you
I’m growing a beard downstairs for Christmas
Growing it big, growing it thick, growin’ it for you

Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas baby
I’m growing it strong and true
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas baby

When I was a boy
Just a little boy
I was embarrassed by my body’s changes
But then one day at the local pool
I saw a life guard with hair growing out of his anus
I was so impressed
It looked like Tom Selleck’s chest

But at the turn of the millennium
Spandex gripped the land
Every back sack and crack was attacked with wax
Now I’m growing it back
A gift for you to unwrap

Now I’m growing a beard downstairs for Christmas
Growing a downstairs beard for you
I’m growing a beard downstairs for Christmas
Growing it big, growing it thick, growin’ it for you

Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas baby
I’m growing it strong and true
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas baby

We’ll keep each other warm at night
With our jingle bell hairy stalactites
We’ll watch each other grow and grow
I’ll stick to you
I’ll stick to you
Like velcro

Now I’m growing a beard downstairs for Christmas
Growing a downstairs beard for you
I’m growing a beard downstairs for Christmas
Growing it big, growing it thick

Now I’m growing a beard downstairs for Christmas
Growing a downstairs beard for you
I’m growing a beard downstairs for Christmas
Growing it big, growing it thick, growin’ it for you

Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas baby
I’m growing it strong and true
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas baby