Lyrics Paul Heaton & Jacqui Abbott – 7″ Single

We got the 7″ single, the long playing album
The 12″ disco mix
Just put it on the jukebox, grab yourself a lager
See what the needle predicts

We had the country and Western, a dodgy little section
With Jerry Lee Lewis and gang
«From A Jack To A King» to secure prison wing
But, still, the whole tavern, they sang

Dolly Parton was queen
Billy Joel the boss
We were uptown, downtown, little bit of Motown
With Marvin Gaye and Diana Ross

All the punters would sing
And you’d be joinin’ in too
«Red Red Wine», «Everybody Hurts»
And «Don’t It Make Your Brown Eyes Blue»

So barman, don’t be a tease
Now we’re down on our knees
Plug that Wurlitzer back in
For the hes and the shes

Well, we’re begging you, please
For the Peters and Lees
Stick another 50p in
And make it out and out cheese

Then there were the tightwads, going to the jukebox
Put in solitary 5p
Worked out that Pink Floyd, anything by Meatloaf
Was longer than your 10CC

Arguing the B side’s better than the A side
Denying what you actually put on

Neil Diamond was king
Elton John number one
It was a working-class hymn, but the one congregation
The Church really wished had been gone

We sang «Give Peace a Chance»
With Yoko Ono and John
«Saturday Night’s Alright For Fighting»
And «Where Have All The Boot Boys Gone»

So barman, don’t be a tease
Now we’re down on our knees
Plug that Wurlitzer back in
For the hes and the shes

Well, we’re begging you, please
For the Peters and Lees
Stick another 50p in
And make it out and out cheese

So barman, don’t be a tease
Now we’re down on our knees
Plug that Wurlitzer back in
For the hes and the shes

Well, we’re begging you, please
For the Peters and Lees
Stick another 50p in
And make it out and out cheese