Текст 360 – Facebook Fiend

«Hello? »
«Hello, Six, what ya doin’? »
«Oh, just Facebook man»
Yeah, right, what ya doin’ tonight? »

Yo’ I’m a mother fucking Facebook fiend, fuck myspace it’s FB
So if you want someone to talk to, befriend me
Yo’ I got 4000 friends but I’m out for more
And I won’t stop until I get another 1000 more

I deleted one girl she had a duckface
And this awkward lean that made me wanna smash and chuck plates
I had to block this angry nutcase (Why?)
That’s because your status updates are whack as fuck mate

Why you do that tag?
If you tag me in a pic’ that ain’t mine then I’ll remove that tag, gone
If you know people to add, go and SMS them
Cause I find this is the best way to get attention

I don’t care about the clubs and events your sending
I just care about the friends that you’re recommending
Yo’ I wanna sit there all day friend requestin’
And if they ask why I’ll blame it on my friend suggestions

«Dear Veronica,
Thank you for accepting my add
No, I don’t know you, but you look pretty cute ay
If you’re from Melbourne I was just wondering if you would like to get together and have a lime milkshake with me one time.

Yo’ I know there’s others out there who wanna co-sign this
Now we lucky that we got it on our mobiles, sick
You can see me in some pictures but I don’t smile bitch
And I always give the finger in my profile pics, yeah

And that’s a fact unless I’m taking an ab shot,
And I’m a screamer, I’m always writing in caps lock
And I’m a nerd in real life but I’m thuggin’ on my laptop
So if you wanna fight I got my gack cocked

I’ve got pictures of the bling that I wanna score
And I’ve got pictures of the rims on my Commodore
Fuck with me and you will see your funeral plan
Check my arms out, Times Roman Numeral tat

When it comes to hair I only got tips
I got them done in year 8 and they’ve been blonde since
I know you wanna be motivational yo’
But fuck you and your inspirational quotes bitch

«Hey babe, I’m selfish, impatient, a little insecure, I make mistakes
I’m out of control and at times hard to handle
But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.»
Get fucked, I do not agree. Hahahaha

Yo’, to all my friends out there yo’ I’d like you to know this
Whether online or offline I don’t like to be poked kids
But now I’m searching just to find me a hoe
But you ain’t Kylie Minogue so why you strikin’ a pose?

Shit, she’s hot I wanna date that chick
But she got emo statuses I fucking hate that shit
And let’s be honest that’s a dumb look, thank you
And all your pics are taken from an upwards angle

Listen, if we can tell you got a huge head now
Any time you meet a guy then it’s a huge let down
Your hiding and you’ll find that your lying while denying it
As well I can tell, so your lying to yourself

Yo’ I know you like to upload pics
But we wanna see you smiling from the front though bitch
If there’s one thing I learn off Myspace
It’s to never have a blind date with a girl who always likes to hide her face

«Excuse me, are you Matt? »
«Um, nup, nah, not me babe»