Текст Bart Baker – Ain’t Your Mama Parody

Jennifer Lopez:
I’m sick of doing things for you
I ain’t your mama!

J Lo’s Boyfriend:

Jennifer Lopez:
Poor you
I ain’t your mama!

J Lo’s Boyfriend:
What is your problem?

Jennifer Lopez:
Boy I ain’t your mama

J Lo’s Boyfriend:
But what the hell do you expect when you only date you
Young backup dancers?
I am barely legal
You’re a cougar!
You’re 46 years old

Jennifer Lopez:
It’s true I like my men
Extremely young
The sexy dancer type
Who’s dumb and hung
But my relationships all fail
Time and again
Cos I’m more than twice as
Old as my men
They’re all spoiled
From my money
They make me cook

J Lo’s Boyfriend:
Girl stop acting
Like you do not have maids and cooks that you pay
Drop this dumb charade!
Hey!

Jennifer Lopez:
All men lack maturity

Office Worker 1:
Woah I was eating!

Jennifer Lopez:
Want no responsibilities

Office Worker 2:
Ouch I am bleeding!

Jennifer Lopez:
I love this feeling

Office Worker 3:
Hey you broke my PC!

Jennifer Lopez:
Is he your fiance?
You should leave him
You ain’t his mama

Office Worker 4:
Why would you say that?

Jennifer Lopez:
Cause all men act like kids
Dump his lame ass!

Office Worker 5:
She’s right take back your ring!

Jennifer Lopez:
Ladies you don’t need a man
All men do is mooch off you
And expect you to cook and clean and do their laundry
Like you’re their mama
Well that stops now!
Walk up to your husband or boyfriend
Tell that lazy asshole
I ain’t your mama
And dump his ass!

Office Worker 4:
What’s with our girls?

Office Worker 3:
They don’t like us
Due to J-Lo’s
Midlife crisis

Office Worker 4:
They’ve been brainwashed
By her huge butt

Coffee Patron 1:
We’re too good to be
Your loser’s mommies

Coffee Patron 1&2:
We’re finally free
Bitch

Dancer:
J Lo has set all women free
She is our hero
Men are things we do not need
Cos they’re all zeroes
Wait I just thought of
One potential problem
What we do for sex
Without our men?

Jennifer Lopez:
Oh that’s no problem
We have each other
And we can all be lesbian lovers

Dancer & Jennifer Lopez
Let’s all start scissoring!