Текст Bart Baker – Wildest Dreams Parody
Текст:
Taylor:
My ex-boyfriends all hate me now
They think I was crazy and dicked them around.
I can’t stand that they think about me as a bad girlfriend.
How dare they all dump Taylor Swift and not remember me as perfect!
They must pay the price, and I won’t rest until they all are dead!
Hey John remember me?
John Mayer:
Sure Taylor we dated before I met Katy.
Taylor:
Since our break up made me scream, I’ll return the favor
Go to hell John Mayer!
That’s right, scream!
John Mayer:
Aaah! Aaah!
Taylor:
Rest in Peace!
Haa! Haaaaah!
I invited Joe Jonas to my tent.
Yea, I used to date him
Back when he still had hits.
Joe Jonas:
It’s not my fault my career went to shit.
God, I hate my brother.
Taylor:
Well, he’s the one with talent!
Joe Jonas:
Why would you say something so cruel?
No please stop! What the hell did I do?
Taylor:
You broke up with me over the phone
and left me all alone.
Now I am on a plane
Soon I will be killin’ one more ex Jake Gyllenhaal.
Jake Gyllenhaal:
What are you doing Tay?
Taylor:
I’m hitting this button!
Now I’m going to jump. It’s my Wildest Dream!
Jake Gyllenhaal:
No No Noooo!
Taylor:
That was three. Two to go.
Harry Styles:
Taylor?
Taylor:
Hello Harry.
I’ve come to say Bye Bye cause you’re about to die.
Harry Styles:
What? I’m just going to space.
Taylor:
There’s been a change of plans cause I’m killing exes in my Wildest Dreams.
Aaah. Aaaaah.
Calvin Harris:
What are you doing Taylor love?
Taylor:
I know eventually you will dump me!
Calvin Harris:
What no! Oooow!
Taylor:
So I might as well kill you now.
Haaa! Haaaaaa!
Die! Die Calvin! Haaa!
You won’t dump me Calvin! Not this time! Haaa Haaa!
Calvin Harris:
Taylor! Taylor! You okay? You were saying some strange things while sleeping.
Taylor:
I was just having a wild dream.
Calvin Harris:
I could tell.
Taylor:
Go back to sleep. Everything’s fine.
Goodnight sweetheart. Sleep tight.
Don’t let the bedbugs bite. Hee Hee.