Lyrics Adam Sandler – The Mule Session

My girlfriend left me for a seven foot Indian
My grandma hung herself on a tree in the Caribbean
My sister’s on the dope and my brother always picks his nose
And Daddy’s only happy when he’s wearing Mama’s pantyhose, yeah

But I’ve got my mule
He’s a very, very nice mule
He walks with me home from school
Cause he’s a very, very nice mule

When he was a baby my mother fed him gruel
But now he prefers to dine on his own stool
He always philosophizes with the rabbis after shul
Cause he’s a very, very pious mule

When he sees a picture of a carrot he has a tendency to druel
On Halloween he tries to scare me by dressing up as a ghoul
He once challenged someone who stole my hat to a duel
Cause he’s a very, very Old school mule

A needle-nosed plier is his favorite tool
He lifeguards on a volunteer basis and the Rec. Center pool
When I break down on the side of the road he shows up with unleaded fuel
He’s a devoted fan of Ms. Paula Abdul

And also approves of the recent makeover of former folkie Jewel
coughing
When I told him Halle Berry’s husband cheated he just shook his head and said to himself ‘what a fool’
Cause he’s a very, very monogamous mule

snoring
Porkchop! Wake up, man, the session’s not over!

After several well-publicized arrests for public urination he now drinks exclusively O’Doul
And every year he puts on a presentation at the Boys Club to show kids smoking isn’t cool