Lyrics Duck Dynasty Cast – The Night Before Christmas
Text:
Now the night before Christmas I was sitting in my house,
And there wasn’t nothin’ movie’ around, not even a mouse
The socks were hung up by the fireplace to dry,
In hopes that Old Santa Clause would bring me some pie.
My children are grown, so no body’s in bed,
And I got the sound of duck calls stuck in my head.
Momma’s in her gown and I got on my cap,
And I ain’t tired cause I took a three hour nap.
When all of a sudden, I heard a big crash!
I figured it was some coons diggin’ in the trash.
I went to the window and slipped on my shoes,
Cause I don’t like critters snoopin’ around in my refuge.
Now the moon was bright and there was no sight of snow,
And hey, I have the eyes of an eagle, just so you know.
When all of a sudden, what seemed to appear,
Was a tiny little tree stand and a whole lotta deer.
Hmm, I knew I had seen him, he was actin’ very silly,
And I was convinced it could only be Willie.
Now he was yellin’ and screamin’, callin’ out names,
And those deer started movin’ and all those suckers came!
Now I thought he said,
«Hey Dasher, hey Prancer, and Spitzer,
Maybe Comet, somethin’ about Cupid, Donner, and Wolf Blitzer.»
Let’s head to the roof, from there they would spring,
These deers had magical powers and all of them had wings.
Now I took off my glasses cause this was too weird,
Big bucks turned into ducks is what seemed to appear.
Hey, they circled around and I swear that they flew,
These deers had bags of my garbage and big Willie in there, too!
And then in a flash, they was tearin’ up my roof!
And I got the sound of duck calls stuck in my head.
Momma’s in her gown and I got on my cap,
And I ain’t tired cause I took a three hour nap.
When all of a sudden, I heard a big crash!
I figured it was some coons diggin’ in the trash.
I went to the window and slipped on my shoes,
Cause I don’t like critters snoopin’ around in my refuge.
Now the moon was bright and there was no sight of snow,
And hey, I have the eyes of an eagle, just so you know.
When all of a sudden, what seemed to appear,
Was a tiny little tree stand and a whole lotta deer.
Hmm, I knew I had seen him, he was actin’ very silly,
And I was convinced it could only be Willie.
Now he was yellin’ and screamin’, callin’ out names,
And those deer started movin’ and all those suckers came!
Now I thought he said,
«Hey Dasher, hey Prancer, and Spitzer,
Maybe Comet, somethin’ about Cupid, Donner, and Wolf Blitzer.»
Let’s head to the roof, from there they would spring,
These deers had magical powers and all of them had wings.
Now I took off my glasses cause this was too weird,
Big bucks turned into ducks is what seemed to appear.
Hey, they circled around and I swear that they flew,
These deers had bags of my garbage and big Willie in there, too!
And then in a flash, they was tearin’ up my roof!
I heard the stompin’ and chompin’ of each little hoof.
As a drew out my pistol, not knowin’ what to say,
Down the fireplace came Willie, he must have got away!
He had on a mink coat, from his bandana to his foot,
And his clothes were all nasty, covered in ashes and soot.
He had my bag of garbage flung over his back,
And he looked like a fat raccoon lookin’ for a snack.
As I stood there wonderin’ why he was not in bed,
I yelled «Hey, I don’t have any cookies, you crazy knucklehead!»
His mouth was wide open as he stood there in shock.
Then I realized I was in my tighty whities with only a top.
Alright, quit laughin’ boy.
Okay, Willie looked like he was smokin’ a pipe.
I know I never seen that and it didn’t seem right.
Not sure it was Willie’s face but no doubt it was his belly,
With an unmistakable shake cause hey, Willie loves his jelly.
Willie’s chubby and plump, like a fat little mouse.
And I got tickled at seein’ him and said, «Why are you at my house?»
He winked at me and smiled as he set down his stash,
I saw it was not my garbage and it certainly was not my trash.
Hey, this cat didn’t say a word as he pulled out some toys,
And not just some cheap crap, this stuff was for big boys.
He was doin’ a job and he was going to work.
This could not be Willie, because Willie, he’s a jerk!
He left me some goodies, then he sprang in the air,
I wasn’t sure what I just saw but hey, I didn’t care.
And I heard him yell out as he left with his pack,
«Merry Christmas to all and to all a goodnight, Jack!»
As a drew out my pistol, not knowin’ what to say,
Down the fireplace came Willie, he must have got away!
He had on a mink coat, from his bandana to his foot,
And his clothes were all nasty, covered in ashes and soot.
He had my bag of garbage flung over his back,
And he looked like a fat raccoon lookin’ for a snack.
As I stood there wonderin’ why he was not in bed,
I yelled «Hey, I don’t have any cookies, you crazy knucklehead!»
His mouth was wide open as he stood there in shock.
Then I realized I was in my tighty whities with only a top.
Alright, quit laughin’ boy.
Okay, Willie looked like he was smokin’ a pipe.
I know I never seen that and it didn’t seem right.
Not sure it was Willie’s face but no doubt it was his belly,
With an unmistakable shake cause hey, Willie loves his jelly.
Willie’s chubby and plump, like a fat little mouse.
And I got tickled at seein’ him and said, «Why are you at my house?»
He winked at me and smiled as he set down his stash,
I saw it was not my garbage and it certainly was not my trash.
Hey, this cat didn’t say a word as he pulled out some toys,
And not just some cheap crap, this stuff was for big boys.
He was doin’ a job and he was going to work.
This could not be Willie, because Willie, he’s a jerk!
He left me some goodies, then he sprang in the air,
I wasn’t sure what I just saw but hey, I didn’t care.
And I heard him yell out as he left with his pack,
«Merry Christmas to all and to all a goodnight, Jack!»
