Lyrics Frank Zappa – Dance Contest
Text:
FZ
«One of the things that I like best about playing in New York is this
particular place, because it has-it has a stage that is conducive to, how
you say in the trade, audience participation. Now if there’s one thing
that I really like, it’s, uh, audience participation. Now listen… I gotta
figure out something that I can, uh-do you think we should have another
dance contest tonight? Oh, bey-the injured person dance contest. Well,
let’s see… Awright, I’ll tell you what we’re going to do. Here’s a, here’s
a guy who really wants to be in the dance contest aw-reety, aw-righty,
hey. Okay.. »
BUTCH
«You are great, man-you are great. You are the best, baby.
Do ‘Dinah-Moe Humm’
FZ
«All right, now wait a minute-what’s your name? Hey, hey-what’s
your name?»
BUTCH
«Butch.»
FZ
«Awright, the dynamic Butch. Here’s a girl who wants to dance with
Butch. What’s your name?»
LENA
«Lena.»
FZ
«What?»
LENA
«Lena.»
FZ
«Lena, meet Butch. Okay, Lena and Butch, couple number one. Hell,
heh. Okay, let’s see-that guy there, with his… that-that one there with the
figure out something that I can, uh-do you think we should have another
dance contest tonight? Oh, bey-the injured person dance contest. Well,
let’s see… Awright, I’ll tell you what we’re going to do. Here’s a, here’s
a guy who really wants to be in the dance contest aw-reety, aw-righty,
hey. Okay.. »
BUTCH
«You are great, man-you are great. You are the best, baby.
Do ‘Dinah-Moe Humm’
FZ
«All right, now wait a minute-what’s your name? Hey, hey-what’s
your name?»
BUTCH
«Butch.»
FZ
«Awright, the dynamic Butch. Here’s a girl who wants to dance with
Butch. What’s your name?»
LENA
«Lena.»
FZ
«What?»
LENA
«Lena.»
FZ
«Lena, meet Butch. Okay, Lena and Butch, couple number one. Hell,
heh. Okay, let’s see-that guy there, with his… that-that one there with the
teeshirt on-no, no, the other one-this one-no, no-no no no, wait a minute,
wait… well, you’re-actually, you’re very nice, though. Would you like to
come up here?… Okay, but d’you think you can behave yourself?… Okay,
what’s your name?»
GUY
«Tom, man.
mumble, mumble
you, baby, I
mumble, mumble
(gurgle)
you
mumble, mmf, etc.»
GUY
«Arrgh, mmmf, glurg,
etc.»
FZ
«Awright, now wait a minute. Awright, awright, now wait…»
GUY
»
mumble, mmf.
Ugliness! Ugliness!»
OTHER GUY
«Frank, you’re my buddy! Amh. mmf’.’
FZ
«Awright, now wait a minute, wait a minute. I have an important message
to deliver to all the cute people all over the world. If you’re out there and you’re
not cute, maybe you’re beautiful, I just want to tell you somethin’-there’s more
of us ugly mother-fuckers than you are, hey-y, so watch out. Now…»
GUY: (BUTCH?)
«Will you bring my girlfriend on stage, maybe?»
FZ
«Sure. All right, now you-he wants to get his girlfriend-go get your girlfriend.»
GIRL
«Hey Zap!»
FZ
«Good to see you again.»
GIRL
«Squeak!»
FZ
«I know.»
GUY
«I ain’t no fucking queer.»
FZ
«All right, now look, here’s what we’re going to do. Awright. Now. This-it’ll
be mashed, I’ll save them, I’ll save them for later.»
GUY
«I’m not a fucking queer.»
FZ
«This man is trying desperately to let everybody know that he is not a queer.
He’s not queer, he’s not queer. Awright, and now… You are going to dance, like
you’ve never danced before…»
wait… well, you’re-actually, you’re very nice, though. Would you like to
come up here?… Okay, but d’you think you can behave yourself?… Okay,
what’s your name?»
GUY
«Tom, man.
mumble, mumble
you, baby, I
mumble, mumble
(gurgle)
you
mumble, mmf, etc.»
GUY
«Arrgh, mmmf, glurg,
etc.»
FZ
«Awright, now wait a minute. Awright, awright, now wait…»
GUY
»
mumble, mmf.
Ugliness! Ugliness!»
OTHER GUY
«Frank, you’re my buddy! Amh. mmf’.’
FZ
«Awright, now wait a minute, wait a minute. I have an important message
to deliver to all the cute people all over the world. If you’re out there and you’re
not cute, maybe you’re beautiful, I just want to tell you somethin’-there’s more
of us ugly mother-fuckers than you are, hey-y, so watch out. Now…»
GUY: (BUTCH?)
«Will you bring my girlfriend on stage, maybe?»
FZ
«Sure. All right, now you-he wants to get his girlfriend-go get your girlfriend.»
GIRL
«Hey Zap!»
FZ
«Good to see you again.»
GIRL
«Squeak!»
FZ
«I know.»
GUY
«I ain’t no fucking queer.»
FZ
«All right, now look, here’s what we’re going to do. Awright. Now. This-it’ll
be mashed, I’ll save them, I’ll save them for later.»
GUY
«I’m not a fucking queer.»
FZ
«This man is trying desperately to let everybody know that he is not a queer.
He’s not queer, he’s not queer. Awright, and now… You are going to dance, like
you’ve never danced before…»
