Lyrics Ian Dury – Bed O. Roses No. 9

I’ve done a lot of things I wished I hadn’t
There’s other things I never hope to do
But sliding off the map in both directions
Is the sorry mess I made of knowing you

I’ve seen a lot of things I wished I hadn’t
There’s other things I never hope to see
But no one left alive could paint the picture
Of the mess that knowing you has made of me

I knew it wouldn’t be a bed of roses
I’ve seen the bloody grind that love entails
But one door shuts and then another closes
And now I’m on a bloody bed of nails

Been told a lot of things I wished I hadn’t
There’s other things I never want to know
But sliding off the scale of least remembrance
Is the way you chose to tell me where to go

I’ve been a lot of things I wished I hadn’t
There’s other things I never hope to be
But no one left alive could tell the story
Of what I was once you’d got done with me

I knew it might turn out to be a schtumer
Nothing would surprise me anymore
You robbed me of my natural sense of humour
And then you nailed my bollocks to the door

I knew it might turn out to be a schtumer
Nothing would surprise me anymore
You robbed me of my natural sense of humour
And nailed my poor cojones to the door