Lyrics JT Machinima – Peach vs. Zelda Rap Battle
Text:
(Just because your a princess, don’t mean you gotta act royal)
Zelda:
You step in Hyrule
You’re under my rule
You don’t got all the disguises that I do
At least you got Toad he’s a fungi
I’m a psychic, I’ll read your mind too
I’ve already foreseen your weak rhymes
I was gifted wisdom from the goddess Nayru
Are you an Ocarina?
‘Cause I just played you
Peach:
You see the future?
With precognition
See you just admitted all your lines are written
I’m the finest princess my whole kingdoms smitten
They all blindly obey every mission I give them
But I treat them well
Make no mistake
When the jobs done I let them eat cake
I’ll whack you with my racket put you back in your place
Talk to Majora your gonna want a mask on your face
Chorus:
I’m sick and tired of always playing girly
Gloves off, it’s time
To get my nails dirty
I’m the Nintendo queen
It’s going down
We may be royal
Zelda:
Mario’s home better get to bakin’
Never met a princess this domesticated
What good is a castle if it’s more like a prison?
I fight with weapons I didn’t get from the kitchen
I got the Tri-force
You know that I’ve been blessed
You’re just another ditzy damsel in distress
I’ll give you back to Bowser when I’m done with you
I love a Toadstool in my mushroom soup
Peach:
Diss my Mario and shit will get wild
At least he’s a man, isn’t Link still a child?
I’ll batter your face and bake you like a cake
Bitch!
Buttslam you into paste
Now domesticate this
Hey! Listen! Hear that Zeldy?
The sound of you, failing to outsell me
Ain’t a single princess
That can ever replace me
Where’s Zelda? I’ll tell ya
She’s pushin’ up Daisy
Chorus:
I’m sick and tired of always playing girly
Gloves off, it’s time
To get my nails dirty
I’m the Nintendo queen
It’s going down
We may be royal
But only one can wear the crown
Zelda:
I’m like a Bob-Omb
You don’t wanna spark me
I’ll tell everyone you slept with all the Mario Party
I’ve got my bow and arrows so my blows land harder
I aim for the stars while you date blue collar
You look like a cheap Disney Princess
I’d never be caught dead in that tacky pink dress
My name is Legend, yours will be forgotten
Sorry Mario, but this Peach is rotten
Peach:
Oh, is it my turn?
Can I take a nap first?
Was that a lullaby, or another rap verse?
Here Zelda borrow my umbrella
I drop cold bars got you Frozen like Elsa
Your Legend is a trend
My legacy is classic
You’re riding horseback
While I’m driving automatic
And you know I’m riding dirty as hell
I’ll rally round your family with a pocket full of shells!
Peach shouting at Mario
Chorus:
I’m sick and tired of always playing girly
Gloves off, it’s time
To get my nails dirty
I’m the Nintendo queen
It’s going down
We may be royal
But only one can wear the crown
