Lyrics Ray Stevens – A Handshake Will Do

Well, I was at the hardware store the other day
You know I’m a big «do-it-yourselfer»
My wife says — «I need you to do this»
And I said — «do it yourself» — Ha — ha — I really didn’t say that.

I was purchasing a pipe wrench and a p-trap
When I got bear hugged by a guy I barely know
He hung on a little long
It was awkward — it was wrong
Guys let’s stop huggin’ when a handshake will do.

Now I ain’t sayin’ it’s wrong to show emotion
Kissin’ cheeks in France may not be taboo
But in your hometown hardware store
Keep in mind that less is more
Guys let’s stop huggin’ when a handshake will do.

Cause there’s a time and a place
To share an embrace
Like when your brother comes home from the Army
Or you haven’t seen your Dad in a year or two
Yeah times like that are fine, but it’s time to draw the line
Guys let’s stop huggin’ when a handshake will do.

Don’t fist bump me — Don’t hand jive me
Don’t slap rump me — Don’t high five me
Let’s just shake hands like Americans
And hug when you’re sposed to

Like when your 10 year old boy scores a touchdown
And maybe when your best friend says «I do»
Oh yeah times like that are fine but it’s time to draw the line
Guys let’s stop huggin’ when a handshake will do
Guys let’s stop huggin’ when a handshake will do
I said Holster that hug hoss
A handshake will do

Or I just might hafta take yer «Man-Card»
And that’s all there is to it.