Lyrics Weird Al Yankovic – Handy

Verse 1:
First things first, I’m a craftsman (craftsman)
Remodelling is my only passion (it’s my passion)
And I’m the greatest in the business

Chorus:
I’m so handy, you already know
I’ll fix your plumbing when your toilets over flow
I’m so handy, I’ll bring you up to code
When your dishwasher’s about to explode

Verse 2:
Now you see that your furnace is needing some service
I’m fully bonded, no need to be nervous
Perhaps you would like a new counter Formica
Maybe I’ll hook up this here combo washer dryer
But all your pipes are antique
Your water pressure’s too weak
You got an attic full of dry rot cause your roof sprung a leak
Your fridge is starting to reek
Your hardwood floors really squeak
But don’t you worry I’ll just show you my amazing technique

Chorus:
I’m so handy, everyone said so
I’ll grout your bathroom, resurface your patio
I’m so handy, I’m the guy to know
When your leaf blower doesn’t blow-oh-oh-oh

Bridge:
Patch the drywall, clean your gutters and mow the lawn
Make that phone call, I’ll install anything you want
Yeah, check my big staple gun, my socket wrenches are second to none
I won’t quit ’til I’m done, don’t even care if I hammer my thumb (OW!)

Verse 3:
Still rocking my screwdriver
Got the whole world thinking I’m MacGyver
Your heating bills are shocking
I can solve that with some duct tape and some caulking
Your house is a disaster, huh?
Need a guy whose a master with the plaster, huh?
Let me be your stripper
Taking off lacquer, no one does it quicker

Chorus:
I’m so handy, you already know
I’ll beat all price quotes, my hourly rates are low
I’m so handy, you should call this pro
I’m in the phone book and se habla Español