Текст Jamie Cullum – Be Our Guest

Ma chère Mademoiselle, it is with deepest pride and greatest pleasure that we welcome you tonight. And now we invite you to relax, let us pull up a chair as the dining room proudly presents: your dinner!

Be our guest! Be our guest!
Put our service to the test
Tie your napkin ’round your neck, cherie

Soup du jour
Hot hors d’oeuvres
Why, we only live to serve
Try the grey stuff, it’s delicious
Don’t believe me? Ask the dishes

They can sing, they can dance
After all, Miss, this is France
And a dinner here is never second best
Go on, unfold your menu
Take a glance and then you’ll
Be our guest
Oui, our guest
Be our guest!

Beef ragout
Cheese soufflé
Pie and pudding, en flambé
We’ll prepare and serve with flair
A culinary cabaret!
You’re alone
And you’re scared
But the banquet’s all prepared
No one’s gloomy or complaining
While the flatware’s entertaining
We tell jokes! I do tricks
With my fellow candlesticks

And it’s all in perfect taste
That you can bet
Come on and lift your glass
You’ve won your own free pass
To be our guest
If you’re stressed
It’s fine dining we suggest

Be our guest! Be our guest! Be our guest!
Get your worries off your chest
Let us say for your entree
We’ve an array; may we suggest:
Try the bread! Try the soup!
When the croutons loop de loop
It’s a treat for any dinner
Don’t belive me? Ask the china
Singing pork! Dancing veal!
What an entertaining meal!
How could anyone be gloomy and depressed?
We’ll make you shout «encore!»
And send us out for more
So, be our guest!
Be our guest!
Be our guest!

Life is so unnerving
For a servant who’s not serving
He’s not whole without a soul to wait upon
Ah, those good old days when we were useful…
Suddenly those good old days are gone
Ten years we’ve been rusting
Needing so much more than dusting
Needing exercise, a chance to use our skills!
Most days we just lay around the castle
Flabby, fat and lazy
You walked in and oops-a-daisy!

Be our guest! Be our guest!
Our command is your request
It’s been years since we’ve had anybody here
And we’re obsessed
With your meal, with your ease
Yes, indeed, we aim to please
While the candlelight’s still glowing
Let us help you, we’ll keep going

Course by course, one by one
‘Til you shout, «Enough! I’m done!»
Then we’ll sing you off to sleep as you digest
Tonight you’ll prop your feet up
But for now, let’s eat up
Be our guest!
Be our guest!
Be our guest!
Please, be our guest!