Текст Open Mike Eagle – Jon Lovitz (Fantasy Booking Yarn)

Come do a show in heaven
Come do a show on the fucking moon
Book you a show in heaven
Book you a show on the fucking moon

How ’bout one mil for a guarantee
It’s pretty low, I know it’s embarrassing
You got thousands of fans here
We did some polling and we counted them last year
The venue requests right next to you
You’ll stay at the guest house it’s connected to
We want you here hella bad
We painted your logo on our helipad
We listen so we know how you travel sir
Fire up your helicopter flux capacitor
We’ll give you a hundred percent up front
After sound check you won’t have to get up once
And you can bring all the merch you got
Vinyl, CDs, stickers, shirts and socks
We know lugging tote bags hurts a lot
So we’ll buy up the remains plus purchase the box
And we’ll pay you in gold doubloons
Our ten-piece house band knows all your tunes
Plus we bought all the shit you use
And if you wanna you can take it with you when you cruise
We bought the rights to your mini-doc
Showing it on a screen a large as a city block
We bought some advertising in the weekly too
Enough to get a feature and a sweet review
Our pre-sale numbers are in the thousands
Which is pretty funny we haven’t even announced it

«Oh that’s your — that’s your wedding aniversary?
Oh, damn, I guess we’ll have to uh, get up with you next time
Don’t call us, we’ll call you»

Book you a show in heaven
Book you a show on the fucking moon
Come do a show in heaven
Come do a show on the fucking moon