Lyrics Adam Sandler – Cool Guy 5

Sean pulling up in his car to a hooker

GIRL #5
Hey, honey.
SEAN

GIRL #5
I’m just doing my thing.

SEAN
Well, does doing your thing mean your tricky? ‘Cause I’d like to invest some of my hard earned money towards loving you, if you know what I getting at.

GIRL #5
Well, how much you got, big man?

SEAN
Well, I’m willing to drop 50 dollars on your ass, but there’s a condition going on.

GIRL #5
What’s that?

SEAN
You’re going to have to put those lucious lips of yours on… my… slub-a-dub.

GIRL #5
Ooh, I can do that.

SEAN
You can?

GIRL #5
Mm-hmm.

SEAN
You mean, you ain’t going make fun of the fact that I called my gizza-gazza a «slub-a-dub»?

GIRL #5
Honey you can call your thing what ever you want to as long as you got 50 bucks.

SEAN
Oh sna… well, alright then here’s the 50 dollars,
unzips pants

GIRL #5

Opens his door
Sir, you are under arrest.

police car pulls up

SEAN
You got to be fucking with mind here.

GIRL #5
No, I’m not.

COP
Good job, Denise. We’ll take him from here.

Cop hand cuffs Sean

SEAN
WHAT?!?! You going to arrest my ass for trying to get a ride on my slip ‘n’ slide? Fuck that shit.

GIRL #5
Hey honey, when you get to jail, you’re going to be on the other end of a slip ‘n’ slide, and I hope you enjoy yourself.

SEAN
WWWWHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTT?!?!?!

cop throws Sean in back of police car

COP
Just get in the back, asshole.

GIRL #5

from outside
You sick fuck.

SEAN
Damn!!
crying
This is a bunch of bullshit!!!

PEEPER
Piss on me.
also in the back of the police car

SEAN
WHAT?!

PEEPER
Please, piss me.

SEAN
NO!!!

PEEPER
Just a tinkle.

SEAN
Fuck that, keep him away from me.

PEEPER
Urine.

SEAN
Keep this man away from me.