Lyrics Crazy Ex–Girlfriend Cast – California Christmastime

Rebecca:
Well, you can take your snow and shove it
This is our Christmas and we love it
It’s a hundred degrees, this elf is Vietnamese

Josh Chan:
Even our Santa has a suntan
He’s also an unemployed stuntman

Rebecca:
Is he even awake?

Santa:
Yeah, I’m just really baked

Josh:
If he can be Santa Claus, anyone can!

Rebecca & Josh:
California Christmastime
It’s just a golden state of mind
Chet’s nuts roasting in the bright sunlight!

Rebecca:
Put on some pants, Chet!

Rebecca & Josh:
And what would Christmas be without
Historically low mountain snow causing staggering drought

Josh:
But hey, this eggnog fro-yo’s super tight!

Rebecca:
Super tight!

‘Cause this is California
And we do Christmas right!

Josh:

Back-up singers:
California Christmastime

Darryl:
Don we now our surf apparel
And we have our own kind of Christmas carol

Paula:
It’s this chick named carol
She does henna tattoos

Darryl:
Carol’s fifty, but no judgement
She’s still finding herself

Rebecca, Josh, Darryl, Paula & Carol:
We’re all finding ourselves!

Greg:
Okay, there is no easy answer

Heather:
For our high rates of skin cancer

Carol:
It took my dad’s life

Santa:
And it killed my wife

Greg, Heather, Carol & Santa:
Hang ten, Rudolph and prancer!

All:
California Christmastime
We gather ’round and sing songs by sublime
And all our local reggae bands are white
The kids get lots of toys on Christmas morn
‘Cause daddy makes big bucks directing porn

Rebecca:
They may have gonorrhea
But at least it’s not frostbite!

All:
It’s not frostbite!
‘Cause this is California
And we do Christmas right!

California Christmastime
California Christmastime
California Christmastime
California Christmastime
California Christmastime
California Christmastime

Rebecca:
California Christmastime
Calif…
You have places to be, I get it