Lyrics JT Machinima – Now Hiring At Freddy’s
Text:
Hey, there pal! Looking for work?
But sick of being pushed around by lousy bosses?
How would you like to run and manage your own business?
Well, all we need from you is a little bit of paper work
Become a fazbear franchisee
You’re more than family, you’re the star
We’ve got a little fixer-upper for you
There’s lots of work here to do, so let’s start!
Cut some corners if it makes you a profit
I promise, you’re gonna go far
Frozen pizza’s the best, not one ingredient’s fresh
But just tell the customer they are!
All these animatronics have made us so famous
They’ve got a history, almost all of it’s heinous!
But they make us so much money, how could anyone blame us?
Salvage all the old ones, shouldn’t be dangerous
I’ve heard a frontal lobe removal’s rather painless
Better that to happen than for us to go bankrupt
And remember, if you ever get hurt on the job
Unfortunately, corporate cannot cover your loss
Come on down to Freddy’s and we’ll make a tycoon of you
Invest all of your savings ’cause you’re gonna double it soon
Minimize the casualties and please don’t get us sued
Every shift will be fun if you get your duties done
And clean all the blood off your shoes
Just kidding, it’s only marinara you nincompoop!
But accidents do occasionally happen
Here are some precautionary instructions
In case of a mishap
Minor injuries are a workplace sacrifice
With the animatronics you always want to play nice
And keep a safe distance, that’s solid advice
Oh, children love to play, boy, can they make a mess!
We know how much you’d love to strangle them by their necks!
Just tell those little brats to give Freddy a hug
And when it’s done sweep whatever’s left of them under the rug
Because a bad reputation cannot be afforded
Don’t get rid of the problem, just get rid of the corpses
Sanitation is of strictly minimal importance
And if police are at the door make sure they’ve got proper warrants
Ethics and morals are completely subjective
As long as you prosper you need nothing corrected
And if anything breaks don’t sweat, train wreck
We’ll just take it out of your next paycheck!
Come on down to Freddy’s, you outta stay for a while
If any children go missing, just don’t let that go on file
Don’t get any blood on the carpet, it’s easier cleaning the tile
And if a kid ends up dead, kill all the witnesses next
And make sure it’s done with a smile
Now what? you want a raise?
Maybe, after another couple days
Order more decorations to cover the walls with
And take remaining appendages out of the ball pits
When bodies start rotting, you’ll know for sure
Take your mind off it with another high score
Then we’ll have a performance, you and Freddy together
At this family franchise that’ll go on forever!
Come on down to Freddy’s, and we’ll suck the soul out of you!
A work shift can be deadly, but we’ll bring you back to life soon
Maximize the casualties, at this point we’re gonna get sued
And before you can leave, clean all the carpets with bleach
And we’ll make a monster of you!
