Текст Epic Rap Battles Of History – Jim Henson vs Stan Lee

Intro:
Epic rap battles of history!
Stan Lee!
Versus!

Stan Lee:
Greetings heroes, Stan Lee’s here to battle
It’s the mind behind The Hulk against the geek beneath the Fraggles
I’m just your friendly neighborhood writer man with a secret identity of a super MC
Whose raps are as dark as my shades, leave you squealing like:
MEMEMEMEMEMEME
You’re in trouble now Jimmy, you dirty old hippie
Your beard needs a little bit of snikt, damn skippy
Heck, that face on your neck ain’t sexy
You’re one part Sweetums, the other part Skeksis
Step up to Lee and get your butt kicked
Your Muppet Snuffleupagus stuff is bupkis
I broke Ferrigno and the Comics Code
So keep your frog and pig show moving right along down the road

Jim Henson (Kermit):
I’m glad you got that out
(That anger can clutter your mind)
But you’re a creative man Stanley (Yeah)
So let’s just leave it behind
Cause I can sense your tension, once the verbal fencing starts commencing
There is no defense against the dents Jim Henson is dispensing
And I’m clenching all your strings like you’re a puppet in suspension
Call your superhero friends in
(Yeah, cause you’re gonna need Avenging)

Stan Lee:
Nice try, frogman, but Jack was a friend of mine (THWIP)
That was a low blow, he did his own Thing
And now you’ve made it clobbering time (SPLONK)
Oh, you taught children to count and spell
Then you taught your own kids how to drop your wife harder than you flopped on SNL
I’m telling you Henson
You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry, I’m a marvel of a party pooper
I’ll snap your turtleneck like a Doozer stick and put you out to pasture like Mr. Hooper
I’m sorry Jim, sometimes I can’t control my rage
Honestly, there’s a lot of things that you can’t control at my age
But the truth is I miss ya, you were gone too soon
You were like watching a beautiful sunset… at noon

Jim Henson (Kermit):
Ah Stan don’t be sad, we all have a time to go (Yeah)
Most of the Internet thought that you died 12 years ago
But the Four will always be Fantastic, the Hulk will always be Incredible
The words you wove within the hearts of heroes are indelible
There is no beef between us, we’re two minds of the same kind
And there is no man who could ever muck with what we’ve left behind

Walt Disney:
(M-I-C)
I rock the mic properly
(K-E-Y)
Turning profits I’ve got the key
I’m the Juggernaut of stacking knots unstoppably
The Disneyland-lord of your intellectual property
So get back to work, that’s my dime you’re wasting
I didn’t buy you for billions so you could play around debating
Ah, you belong to Disney, which means you stay busy
Cranking out magic and assembly line whimsy
Artists begging me to stop, I won’t let ’em!
Labor conditions in my shop? I don’t sweat ’em!
I’m powerful enough to make a mouse gigantic
With only 3 circles I dominate the planet
Clearly, there’s nobody near me
I’m owning this battle, in fact, I own this whole series
So hop on my Steamboat boys, but don’t rock it
I’ll put a smile on your face, and green in your pocket
You’ll be safe and insured when you’re under my employ
Now look at it! Gaze upon my empire of joy!