Текст Toby Turner – Viral Song

Look at little Tim Tim trying to write a viral song.
He looks a little lost, guess I could help him along.

What you got Tim Tim?
Ah, my door!

Just follow the recipe and gather the ingredients.
Pick a topic people talk about on social media.
Don’t violate the terms of service or your vid will be deleted.
Also make a catchy chorus.
Something that could be repeated.

Cats, cats, laughing babies, people falling, hot hot ladies.
Sleepy puppies, dancing babies, kittens, monkeys, more hot ladies.
Put a lot of words in one verse,
Careful to enunciate it.

Sing multiple layers.
It helps if you animate it.

What do you mean, «animate it»?
Uh, what do you mean, what do I mean?
You said, «Animate it!» What do you mean by that?
No no, I don’t think I said that at all..
Yeah, I think you definitely said that!
No, I think I’d remember if I had said that. For sure. Definitely.
Well, what’d you say?
Well, I think it was probably something along the lines of.. Uh.

Cats, cats, laughing babies, people falling, hot hot ladies.
Sleepy puppies, dancing babies, kittens, monkeys, more hot ladies.
Put a lot of words in one verse,
Careful to enunciate it.

Say something educational,
So parents let their kids play it.

Did you know that cashews come from a fruit?
What?!
D-d-d-did you know that cashews come from a fruit?
How?!
C-c-c-cashews, cashews, f-f-f-fruit.
What?!
D-d-d-did you know that?
No.

Did you know that cashews come from a fruit?
What?!
D-d-d-did you know that cashews come from a fruit?
How?!
Ha!
Cashews, cashews, f-f-f-fruit.
What?!
D-d-d-did you know that?
I said, «No!» I said, «No.»
No.

It’s OK Tim, nobody blames you.
Most people don’t know the truth about the cashew.
But now you do. So, next time you go to the playground have everybody gather ’round and tell them what your good friend Tobuscus has taught you.
Tell ’em!

Did you know that cashews come from a fruit?
That’s right.
D-d-d-did you know that cashews come from a fruit?
C-c-c-cashews, cashews, f-f-f-fruit.
D-d-d-did you know that?
No!

Sing it!
Cashews, cashews come from a fruit!
Again!
Cashews, cashews come from a fruit!
Louder!
Cashews, cashews come from a fruit!
D-d-d-did you know that?
No!

OK, now get this stuff out of my parent’s house.
No, Tim, you’re the one who asked for my help!
I didn’t ask you for—
Shh! You don’t have to thank me, Tim-Tim.
Alright, I’m gonna get out of here, I got to go upload this to iTunes.
But I though this was my viral song!
You thought this was gonna be—No!
It’s not gonna be viral, it’s a terrible song,
I was telling you how to do it yourself, and that’s why I charged $500
We didn’t agree on $500!
Ugh! Your voice is so annoying, man! It’s so annoying.