Текст Starbomb – Glass Joe’s Title Fight
Текст:
Glass Joe (Danny Sexbang)
Bonjour! Hello!
My name is Glass Joe
I’m ze toughest French boxer zat you’re ever gonna know
And flatten all my opponents like croissant dough
I fight next week for ze champion belt
Mr. Sandman is tough, and I might need a little help
So I hired Doc, he once trained an elf
Named Little Mac so now, I believe in myself!
Doc (Egoraptor)
I’m Doc, hi!
This bitch is gonna die!
His overall record stands at 1 to 99
He’s been hit in the head seventy-five too many times
Now he wants to fight Sandman?
Dear God, WHY?!
His head and his ass about to go through an estrangement
I think I’ll start making all the funeral arrangements
I have to be responsible and tell him he can’t win—
Glass Joe
Here’s ten bucks!
Doc
Fuck it
Let the training begin!
Glass Joe
Whoa, whoa
I’ll be the champion
I have the heart of a lion
Doc
Glass Joe
I’ve got the skills
Doc
No, you don’t
Glass Joe
I’ve got the power
Doc
Wrong again
Glass Joe
You’ll never catch me
I am like the Eiffel Tower
Doc
That doesn’t move!
Glass Joe
Whoa, whoa
I’ll be the champion
I’m building an Arc of Triumph
Doc
That took, like, thirty years to build
Glass Joe
Got my beret
My eau de toilette
I’ll break the Sandman like a stale baguette
No sweat!
Doc
Now it’s four weeks later
And it’s time for the fight
I’m sad I gotta watch a man die tonight
Glass Joe
Do not worry, Doc
Glass Joe is built to last!
Doc
You get winded when you open up the fridge too fast!
Your weight training diet’s all wine and cheese
You’ve got the body of a man with an awful disease
Your arm muscles look like a deflated apple fritter
And your punching bag is filled with cotton candy and glitter
Ding ding
Glass Joe
Zere’s the bell!
Zanks for your help, Doc!
Doc
Yeah, see you in Hell
Glass Joe
Zis is my moment
Vive la France
All of my training
Has led to this chance
I benched ten Q-Tips, I ran five feet
I did a half-pushup, victory will be sweet!
There’s Mr. Sandman, here he comes!
But I believe in myself so I have already won!
Whoa, whoa
I’ll be the Champion
I have the heart of
Oh! Ah! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ahh!!
Whoa, whoa
I like candy corns
Please put them in my donuts
Ugh!
Doc
Yo, you beat the French out of him!
Glass Joe
I have my—
Ugh! Agh! Ough!
My favorite color is seven
Awgh!
No more peanuts for me, stewardess
Godzilla is my dad
