Текст Bart Baker – I Knew You Were Trouble Parody

Joe:
You’re just way too creepy, plus I found someone else, his name’s Mickey. (HO HO)
Taylor:
So, I wrote a song about his stupid ass.
Then, found this guy named John,
but that was over fast.
If you don’t marry me, I will pull out your teeth!
John:
You’re totally crazy.
Taylor:
No!
John:
Yes!
Taylor:
No!
John:
Yes!
Taylor:
Maybe…
He hit me with his guitar, and he said that «we are through.»
Just you wait, until I write a song about you!
Then, I met that Jake Gyllenhal dick,
and was obsessed right away!
Jake:
You’ve sent me 1,000 messages!
and that’s just from today!!

Taylor:
Oh, that’s because I’m having your baby!
Jake:
What?! But, you don’t even put out
Taylor:
Stop questioning me, Jakey,
or I’ll put you 6 feet underground!!!!!!
Jake:
WHOA! WHOA!
Psycho, psycho, psycho!
Taylor:
Fine, go! It’s good material
Next came Kennedy, I think he was fifteen.
I bought the house next door,
to watch you constantly, and also to make sure.. You never ever cheat!
Connor:
OMG! We are done, you are scary!
Taylor:
Harry was my last, that One Direction freak.
I taped him to my wall, so he could never leave.
Harry:
Someone call the police!
You’re insane we are through!
Taylor:
You’re just like all the rest!
What did I do to you?!
So I used, my stalker app.
To track down, all of those pricks.
The next song I write I’ll use, their blood as my ink! Hey!
Jake:
Holy crap, that nut job just bursted in!
Ex-Boyfriends:
Ahh!
Taylor:
What the hell is this?
Ex-Boyfriends:
It’s a support group for all the men.
You wrote songs about, you bitch!
Taylor:
What? I have not written about Harry yet.
Harry:
I am just planning ahead.
John:
Why are you even here anyway?
Taylor:
To finish you all off with my pen!
Ex-Boyfriends:
No, no, devil, devil, devil!
Taylor:
Oh, oh, It’s true, I’m the devil!
Doctor:
OK! that’s enough.
You were right, she’s nuts.
You are coming with us.
Taylor:
Wait, what?
Get off of me, I’m not crazy!!
AH!
Ex-Boyfriends:
It worked!
This was all a trick, we knew you would come.
So, we hired this doctor.
Doctor:
You’re going to an insane asylum,
based on the behavior I observed.
Taylor:
Oh, oh, Let me go, you assholes!
Assholes:
No! No!
Doctor:
Welcome to your new home.
Mickey:
Haha, so you’re crazy too, huh?