Текст Bart Baker – Rude Parody

I have a girl she is my girlfriend but she don’t know it
Save her a place here in my bed by where her shrine is
Check her accounts to see where she’s been
Twitter, Snapchat, Facebook

I’m your daughter’s stalker can I make her my wife?
Say yes
Say yes

Go to hell asshole crappy fake reggae one hit wonders aren’t my daughter’s type get the hell away from my house psycho!

OMG her dad’s so rude
Creepy stalkers have rights too
There’s nothing that he can do
His daughter is gonna marry me

She’ll be my girl
It is our destiny
I’ll be her world
And she’ll always obey me

Did that weird guy just say that he’s stalking me?
He should really use sham poooooooooo

The Jamaican accent in my voice is totally fake
But my love’s real and she has no choice
She will be my life mate
Her family’s so hungry
Waiting for the guy from Dominos
I will steal his clothing
This time I’ll surely get thru the door
Did you order a large pepperoni deep dish?
I did yes, thanks I paid on the phone
Let me put it on the table for you
No just give me it

Don’t come back or you’ll be screwed
I’m calling the cops on you
Just one sec before you do
Can I at least smell your panties babe?

Come near my girl and you’ll get an ass kicking!
You can’t fight fate we’re meant to be family
If you come back I will fill you full of lead!
How the hell did I get nude?

I call on the spirits to help make her my wife
Hey check it out it’s Bob Marley’s ghost
Promise no more lame fake reggae songs the rest of your life and I’ll grant your wish
I swear on my soul

Time to change this old man’s tude
(WHAT THE HELL!)
With my magic Marley doob
My daughter is all yours dude
Does anyone have a piece of cake?

I now pronounce you stalker and stalkee
You may now kiss your bridal abductee
Hold up you freak there’s one thing before you kiss me
I am actually a dude
David Copperfield!

That’s right! And now for my greatest magic trick of all time, I’ll make an extremely annoying one hit wonder band disappear

Now that’s what I call magic, man

Ya…