Текст Bart Baker – Shape Of You Parody

The club isn’t the best to stalk a lover so the gym is where I go
That is where I spy on you when you box and pretend I box also
I’ve got a weird obsession with the shape of your body, this creepy song is all about that
Like your hands, nose, the shape of your ears, hips, and throat and the shape of your mouth

What size are your boxing gloves?
Show me your hand shape
Hold on, what? Excuse me
Come on now, just let me see
I may be crazy, don’t mind me

Say boy, your head is messed up
Don’t touch my waist
Why are you measuring me?
Because I love your body
Umm… OMG you are a freak

I’m in love with the shape of you
I made a body diagram too
Your stomach is real flat and smooth
And your butt’s round and bubbly
Last night I was in your room
And I stole this red bra from you
That’s how I figured out the shape of your boobs
Can I measure your inseam?

Weirdo, weirdo, weirdo, weirdo
You’re obsessed with my body
Don’t go, don’t go, don’t go, don’t go
What shape are your nipples please?

One week in and you come back to the gym, so glad to see your body
Watching from the distance so you wouldn’t see me
It was like we were on our second date

I watched for hours and hours even when you took a shower
Making mental pics of all of your shapes
I left a note in your locker
Signed your body stalker
Let’s both get naked, what do you say?
And now you’re singing like…

Weirdo, do you even box?
Or do you just come to this gym to stalk me?
And inspect my body?
Goddamit and stop measuring me

Umm… girl, yes of course I box
Okay, then prove it
Throw a left hook at me
Can I first measure your feet?
Wait, hold on are those my panties?

I stole them from the locker room
Okay, this has to end right now dude
I’m getting in that ring with you
I’m gonna beat your body
Objectifying girls is rude
We have personalities too
We’re more than just hot bodies
Show me your boobs
I’m in love with your body

Why are you such a psychopath?
I’m in love with your body
Look, I even made a butt graph
It’s shaping up quite nicely
I’m gonna knock your teeth out man
This is making me horny
Can I please cover all your shapes with this lube
Here’s two shapes I got just for you