Текст Bart Baker – Problem Parody

Bart Baker:
It’s Iggy Iggz
I look like a dude dressed as a girl

Jessica (Ariana Grande):

When my body’s sideways
You cannot see me
All this over sexual dancing
Just doesn’t suit me
I look like I’m 10

My skirt’s so short I might as well be naked
All of my views are from horny dudes spankin’

King Bach:
Random black guy whispering
I’m a random black guy whispering
Why is this so zoomed in on my teeth?
Can you please zoom out, dude?

Jessica:
Zoom back in!

King Bach:
There’s broccoli stuck in my teeth
I got rib meat stuck between my teeth
So please stop zooming in on my teeth

Jessica:
Big Sean, you need to start flossin’

I swear that I’m totally unique
Nobody’s like me

Alx:
Girl, please that’s not true!
Your voice is a damn carbon copy of Mariah Carey

Jessica:
Hey screw you!

Gsnaps (Mariah):
What he said is a fact
Bitch, just admit that
You’re clearly trying to steal
my massive appeal

Jessica:
Aren’t you 82?
Gsnaps:
I can sing higher
Jessica:
Oh, yeah? Prove it, grandma!
Gsnaps:
Ah
Jessica:
Ah

Alx:
Stop!

King Bach:
Stop zooming in on my mouth
I am getting really annoyed now
That’s it I am pulling my piece out
Zoom in one more time I dare you!

Bart Baker:
It’s Iggy Iggz
Uh, my balls just dropped
Wake up in the morning dip my face in a plate of cream
This set looks like a Tim Burton sex dream

My hair is bigger than my huge butt in this video
My voice sounds like I am rapping
Through a hole in my throat

Iggy Iggy too biggie to be confessin’
That I’m actually a big black dude who got into cross dressin’
Seeing my real face would make you vomit in a bucket
I think that dude in the back
Must have Googled that shit

Didn’t have enough makeup to cover up my black skin
So I dug up Steve Jobs’ coffin and stole his sweater from him
Have you noticed the backdrop that’s been here along?
We’ve been hypnotizing ya’ll to like this song like what!

Jessica:
We’re hypnotizing you
Buy this song on iTunes
People say my name reminds them of Starbucks
That’s because my dad’s a Grande coffee cup

Grande Coffee:
Hi, sweetie!
Jessica:
Hi, Dad!

Ben (Starbucks worker):
Sorry, Ariana, you’re through
James (Starbucks worker 2):
You’re getting old almost 22
Ben:
And we need someone bigger than you
Jessica:
Wait what the hell are you saying?

James:
You need to get an upgrade
Ben:
Well, actually totally replaced
James:
Say «Hi» to Ariana Venti
Stevie (Ariana Venti):
I sing even higher than you!
Jessica:
No!